the most selfish thing one can ever do
by xXCaitieCat
Summary: life is like a ladder in the water.... I SUCK at summaries I HOPE its better than this lol just read and you will find out XD please R&R rated T beacuse I SUCK at ratings XD contains mentionings of suicide... XD


**AN/ ok. WELL. I KNOW I've been a bitch and havent updated ANYTING for ages but I have been SOOO busy! my best friend, her mum, her dog and evil Cat have moved in with me for 3 weeks! and its hectic! I cant just ignore her and not to mention the fact that I have had serious writers block for EVERYTHING and ANYTHING creative and involving words! lol so yea I do apologise but I REALLY wanted to get this oneshot up XD and yes its a oneshot if anyone wants me to continue it TELL me but I'm not sure if I will...I have SOOO many ideas for stories and stuff and it was SOOOOO funny I have these 3 REALLY GREAT IDEAS FOR SOME SPOOF/HORROR/DISNEY stories but I only wanted to do trailors to see how you guys react but than realised that I CAN'T write Trailors and have never done one! lol it was an EXTREEME blonde moment! lol but I know I SHOULD be updating my other stuff while I have the time but I had this idea and I HAD TO DO IT! I mean who doesnt have ideas of monologues about suicide? lol**

**hope you enjoy it XD**

**Disclaimer: HA I remembered it! do NOT own Mitchie or Camp Rock XD but I guess I do own the philosophical theory to life XD lol if you take any of my theories just PM me first lol JK JK**

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**The most selfish thing one can ever do...**

you know...

I guess I have had a pretty shit life.

"Oh greeat!" I can just HEAR you all moaning and groaning. But there is no need to, this is NOT your ordinary, self-pity, 'I-have-the-worst-life' kind of story its the kind that will hopefully make you think twice about your life...

I guess anyone would say I was...lucky...how ever in my mind I'm FAR from it...

I mean, sure, I can write songs, play piano and guitar and apparantly I can sing but I have NOO confidence and I'm completely invisible. I mean how can I be a somebody if I DON'T even know who that somebody is?

I think of life like a ladder standing in the water. every time something good happens you go up a step and everytime something bad happens, you go down one.

If you keep letting bad things happen to you then you will keep going down and down and down and we all know what happens when your stuck, completely, under water and accept the depth...

people would say I was lucky, but everytime something good goes right and I move one step higher on my ladder. I always go down another 2...

right before I came here to camp rock, I was standing near the bottom of my ladder, waist deep in water but I wasnt worried, I was excited for Camp Rock. I knew it would be GREAT! I knew I was going to get out of the water, even for just a little while...

when I got here all I wanted was to just fit in for ONCE in my life! and, yea, I guess I lied to the entire camp about who I was to fit in but SO what, we ALL lie! If you tell me you have never lied or have never made a mistake than I'm going to accuse you of being a polititian!

I never lied to Shane though, about who I was, but I hurt him all the same. Hurting him just about drowned me...

I was already in dangerous waters when I went to camp but the lie and betraying and hurting all those people and seeing the dissapointed look in my mothers eyes pushed me under water completely.

But I wasnt going to let myself drown.

Just because your on the bottom step of the ladder it doesnt mean you have to let yourself drown. Really, giving in your really just drowning youself and that is the most selfish thing anyone can EVER do...

I refuse to drown because I am not a selfish person. I was going to make my way up my ladder in my own time and my own way.

I just hope those of you who were like me and were waist deep in water dont give in. No matter how bad you think life is right now to NOT give up NEVER accept the depth.

I know that I will be back down here again in the future but I refuse to be selfish. I am going to forever hold my breath if I have to. because for me, drowning is not an option and it shouldnt be for any of you either...

all though. Drowning in the place of someone you love... well thats a different story...

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**AN/ sooooo what did you all think????? TELL ME!!!!!! you know that little button just below these pointless messages I do just click it XD you know you want to xD**

**so I really hope you all enjoyed it and what do you think of a horror/spoof/disney trilogy XD I have started writting each story but want to do trailors for each of them first before I put the rest up incase people think its stupid lol ok the titles of them are....drumroll please...... OH and by the way these titles copyright is in pending so please. no stealing XD anyways back to the drum roll....**

_"I know what you did last mucial"_ **-high school musical horror comedy XD**

_"I know what you did in montana"_** a Hannah Montana horror comedy XD**

**AND**

**"CRIKEY! its Camp Rock" ok the title isnt really spoofing anything but I have started writting it and I HOPE its funny XD its Camp Rock set in Australia Zoo special request by Prickle Irwin (if your not an aussie then you should know that a bindi is a little prickle-y thing in the grass that when you stand on HURTS and its sharp and us aussies know ALL too well about bindi's am I right? lol who names there kid after a painful weed?) but anywyas I dont want to give any more away incase I decide to bin the idea lol but yea XD**

**PLEASE review and WISH ME LUCK!! I have to go to the hospital tomorrow for a bone scan!! I have to get a big ass needle!!!! I'm scared!! DX but please review and I REALLY hope you enjoyed my one shot and I am REALLY sorry for being a bitch and all AWOL on updating I will make it up to you all I promise XD**

**TTFN**

**~KT~**


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